If brevity is the soul of wit...

...then I must be the funniest man alive.

Sorry that the blog updates have been so delayed. Wanting to talk about everything and nothing makes it hard to keep things in perspective.

Johnny Moniker's Rules of Life

1) Life is to live.
2) It is better to ask forgiveness than permission.
3) Telling people you are awesome works wonders, especially during job interviews.
4) There is no situation in this world that can't be improved by talking yourself up.
4b) Except maybe police interviews.
5) ???
6) Profit.
7) The best way to experience the day is the 3pm-7am sleep(/wash/spin) cycle.
8) Question everything.
9) Keep an open mind.
10) Everyone should go to at least one:
-rave
-metal gig
-festival
-other continent
-movie marathon over the course of life.
11) Shooting stars are awesome, if you haven't seen one you are missing out.
12) Better to face rejection than a night spent alone.

More to be added as I think of them.

An informal introduction

Hello, dear reader. Know that as you read this, you are among the many people in this world who I love with all my heart, and hate with a fiery passion. I just ask that you wait until I've finished my rant before you run off crying back to your own self-indulgent blag.

Yes, unfortunately we are all engaged in a collective bout of verbal masturbation. Unpleasant, pointless and messy for the most part, occasionally spawning one or two ideas of actual value to society. Most of these ideas are then aborted by a combination of apathy and the wonderful values given to us by those in the Pro-choice lobby, but I digress. What I am trying to say is that this is a messy place, full of self-loathing, and the cries of those who want some release from the lonely mundanity of everyday life.

Luckily, this is my element. My name is Johnny, and I'm an alcoholic. Well, not really, but occasionally one wishes for something to blame for the bad things they do in life. Needless to say, I've done quite a few. A bit about me:

• I'm an attention whore, but who isn't nowadays. The interwebnets have a lot to answer for.
• I hail from the sunburnt country of Aussieland. Based somewhere around Sydney, but I shall keep my exact location hidden, not that I expect anyone particularly cares.
  
• I'm a recently lapsed Christian. Raised in the faith, a nice moderately-sized Church of Christ. I was a youth leader for two and a half years, had myself a group of thirty or so teens who thought of me as a role model. This ended badly for all involved. Can't quite pin-point the exact thing that made me leave the church, but I'm sure it'll become clear over the next few posts.
  
• I'm a geek. I was once a nerd, and a fairly obnoxious one at that. Coasted off natural intellect until I was 16, when it all suddenly collapsed. Never picked up a work ethic, so I tend to start projects and then leave them unfinis--